Recognize Achievements and Celebrate Traditions with Precious Screenshots

Do you want an attention-grabbing FULL-COLOR way to preserve your best memories at Redridge? Does your fraternity or athletics team want to promote positive spirit and camaraderie in a mix of media? Whether you need a tasteful portrait photo of you on your proto-drake or an all-weather vinyl banner to get the home crowd on its feet, Precious Screenshots has the artistry and sophistication to bring your vision to life. Best known for our yearbook photography, students everywhere trust Precious Screenshots to capture their proudest accomplishments.



But Precious Screenshots also has the merchandising solutions to support your promotional efforts, from personalized keychains, weapon chains, pocket raid calendars, mugs, backscratchers, noncombat knives, pens, erasable pens, hearthstone covers, squire's uniforms, and MORE. Templates and stencils make customizing your messages simple. Order Center programs add even more options. We’re here to help deliver a balanced budget... so you can concentrate on making this year the most memorable yet!



Visit our booth in the Student Center, third floor, across from the Chick-fil-A.

Don't spend another Love Is In the Air alone! Connect with Shadowsong-area singles. More people than ever before are using online personals as a way to add romance and excitement to their lives. Click here to add your personal message for that special someone you know--or have been dreaming of.

Personals Pleasure loving Warrior and intellectual; creative hair, tiny slender shape. Engineer with no time for schematic hooey; unexpectedly sexy. Exalted in the bedroom, revered with love, friendly with nature. Observer of rivers, trees, and rare spawns. MSW. Box 2827 Hello My Name Is Morgvagio. I am looking for a suitable mate and understand that the "Net" is a good place to meet people in the "Digital Age." If you too are looking for a suitable mate, perhaps you will consider an In-Real-Life (IRL) encounter with me (i.e., "hook up"). To do so, please contact the newspaper [Editor: Do not do this.] and ask to be put in touch with Morgvagio. Thank you. In order to convey a sense of my personality, I will now close with a quote from the immortal John Donne, who oft spoke on matters of love. I Target You from across the room. Your target of target shows that I've targeted you. I walk within range and you turn to me. I get ready to pop my cooldowns. Readycheck: Dada duuhh. Incoming, baby. Incoming. Box 9374 Professor V. I Hold Back for You. I know I can do more DPS but I act dumb so you won't stop paying attention to me. Can I hope? Underneath my plate I'm wearing only this little trinket. Box 6002 Single and choosy? Join the club. The club being The Molten Peace Corps where you'll meet young people on the same quest as you! Box 4060 The Dungeon Boss I Resemble Most. The one that drops the hot loot on your chest. And OSNAP I can be reset. [Editor: Must be one of those Steamvault bosses.] Box 1524 To Die For. Female, priest. Soft-spoken, thrice-widow, spontaneous, and easy-going. Refuse to rez so please don't ask. LF wealthy JC. No Shaman. Box 99 Some chances are once in a lifetime. Not this one; Any roll over 30 gets a rare mount. Me. Interested? Yes! Box 1321 Massive-breasted priestess, 30-something, seeks witty achievement-minded intellectual beef-cake herber-chef-poet with heaping stamina. Like me, you are dwarven, hilarious, serious, ironic, protective, passionate, practical, punctual, kind, have most of your own limbs, and are startled to find yourself still cruising the grounds of the Darkmoon Faire on a Friday night. Unlike me, you don't exist. Am I right? Sure I am! If so, will consider any M with his own bank tabs/tabbard. Box 616 This ad may not be the cleverest personal in the world, nor is its author the best smelling/looking. F Dwarf seeks long term mistress. Requirements: Big boobs. River-dancing a plus. Box 45 This column has been poorer without me, so here I am again -- hairy-backed dwarf heavily influenced by television sitcoms (M, 30, with in-house pet-stables, gun made of vendor trash, and a sensitive grunt during only the most intimate moments), still searching for that special lady with no sense of smell and a capacity for overwhelming compromise in lifestyle choices esp. regarding blighthounds in bed. Box 01 Parting is such sweet sorrow. Divorced, F 20s, actress in K-zan Opera, LF rehearsal companion, more. Come, gentle knight; and give me back my sex-life! Box 3121

8 old-world minions seeking 8 brides who know when to turn the lights down and the heat up -- well higher than it already is. Many dogs; pet lovers a must. Contact M.Domo. Box 331 Dis-Connection? To the healer in my Sarth pug last nite, low-cut robe and even lower ping. Don't tell me you renew all the boys like that. I felt it too. Box 7664 I celebrated my thirtieth birthday last week by organizing my bank slots. Next year I'm hoping for sexual intercourse. And a cake. Join my invite mailing list at Ratchet: Box 227. Elf. Missed connection. U lead me to the bassment of Stormwind church. I aws the preist and U where the druid. If U R reading this, please contact me. Bring the fat hed mage to! Box 1011. Attn: Fordtow. Sherrie Who Works in the Cheese Shop. I saw you at the Dalaran flight point 3 times now. I just can not stop thinking about you. You are absolutly stunning and I adore you even though I dont know you. I have your cheese knife. Box 6627 Human Warrior looking for fun-loving, spontaeneous female Tauren. Sexually active, psychologically stable, politically informed, not religious or "spiritual." No Shaman. Gnomes using Orb of Deception will be beaten. Box 223. You can have the key to my heart! I'll swap it for access to your talent spec. Min/Max nazi (M Warlock, 22) plans on whipping you (dumpy, weak, bland, T4-wearing F to 30) into raiding shape with 15-week program of sit-ups, rotations and emotionally-draining discussions about how sexy you really think I am. /molest. Box 34 Me, RCC, and Dating. Well I was hopefull that I would find love here but I feel like an outsider. I was sitting and talking to a friend and realized I have been in this personal column longer then I've known my uncle and I no longer have a place? I have pushed myself to try and meet your "grooming" standards and feel I have done a fine job of it now that I can date 1.6-2 people in 5 months. I capped my teeth and just have a few more molars to finish up on. So I guess I should thank you for the compliment I got today from the NPC I met today. Box 2664 Bald, short, fat-headed and ugly male, 60, seeks short-sighted, female who can't say 'no' (or 'Grimoire'). Loves disco. Indubitably! Box 78 Hello It's Morgvagio Again. It seems the Internet and I are still getting to know each other. Alas, John Donne, thou art indignified. Anyway, I am told by the helpful folks at the school newspaper that I committed a few errors in my initial post. First, I am not to ask potential mates to contact the newspaper staff directly. Instead, I am to post my personal account information, which they provided me electronically. So without delay, my personal account information is as follows: login--morgvagio, password--hellokitty, security question--what is your mother's maiden name? security answer--kikibert, box number--1121. [Editor: This account has been suspended.] Me Negative, You Positive. Let's get together and let our polarities do the talking. Box 4576 I R Morgvagio. I R NOOB. thou wilst have sex with me? contact me by pigeon mail. LOL!!!111 my box is internets. OP DK LF EZ SECKS. Full arena gear. Can solo Naxx wut? Already in relationship but has time for something on the side, so just leave the sticky stuff at home. Box 2083

As economy slows, businesses turn political

Feralas, November 1 – When Tendris Warpwood opened Högger-Dazs two years ago, the business outlook for all of Dire Mall couldn’t have been better. Located in the quickly gentrifying region of northern Feralas—with flight paths from the east and west bringing in a diverse group of horde and alliance—local governments emptied their savings to shore up schools and infrastructure, and charged developers to attract well-heeled alts. 

“This was back when everyone played a warlock alt,” remembers Warpwood. “They used to blow through town, do their mount quest. But a lot of them would come back, you know, for the small-instance feel. No latency, no chat spam.” 



Today, the outlook is less optimistic and much of the residential development has stalled. Besides anchor stores such as Bloomingdalexi’s and Mana Republic, empty retail spaces interrupt the cheery pre-holiday facade. Just east of the Mall, the high-rise condominium buildings at the Athenaeum are also darkened with vacancies. Such local signs of the global economic downturn are enough to turn small-town shopkeepers into political pundits. 

“The whole mortgage crisis thing—blame enough to go around, I know,” says Warpwood, shaking his head. “But the money markets breaking the buck? Commercial paper drying up? Credit default swaps? Where was the regulation? That’s what happens when the government gets too cozy with the Auction House.” 

Warpwood wears his politics on his sleeve—and on his storefront. Earlier this year, he raised eyebrows among business owners by putting an “Arthas 08” sign in the Högger-Dazs window and offering politically suggestive ice cream flavors, such as “Chocolate Change” and “Maple Maverick.” But when those same owners saw Högger-Dazs sales find a seven-percent bump, they grudgingly jumped on the political bandwagon. 



“I ain’t proud,” admits Cho’Rush the Observer, manager on duty at the Boddi Shop. “I gotta admit that these elk-skin exfoliating gloves are moving quite a bit faster than before.” His storefront shows several “Re-elect Illidan” stickers. In addition, one percent of all net sales at the Boddi Shop are being donated to the regional Illidan campaign center. 

Such politically themed marketing stunts are easy to laugh off—unless you’re a politician seeking re-election. For the first time in 42 years, both parties consider Feralas’s 13 electoral votes in-play. Furthermore, the incumbent party is in danger of losing both Senatorial seats to challengers. 



“NEED MORE TRIBUTE!” urges Senator Gordok (R - FL) with alarming desperation. “THEY OUT-SPEND MEDIA THREE TO ONE! YOU WANT TAX AND SPEND LIBERAL?!” 

This holiday season, the tale of the register tape may tell more than which way the economy is turning. It may just as much tell which elected officials won’t be returning after Winter Veil.

Counterfeit raid IDs an open secret on campus

SHATTRATH, April 6—It's five o'clock on Tuesday, and raid leader Anarassa is standing at the entrance to the World's End Tavern. In her hand, a spreadsheet print-out contains the names, levels, and ID numbers of the 25 students eligible for the night's raid to Hyjal—far fewer than the 42 would-be raiders standing in a queue that stretches down the street to the netherdrake vendor. Some are carrying valid, college-issued raid identification cards. Others, riding the crest of a recent surge in fake ID schemes, are taking a shot at beating the system.

"It's getting to the point where I can remember who has the [fake ID]," says Anarassa. "They just keep trying and trying. Oh, here comes one.”

A gnome caster wearing a mix of Karazhan and season-one gear walks up to the podium, holds up his card, and declares, "I am McBorkin.”

Speaking on behalf of the Office of the Dean, raid leader Benkenobi dismissed allegations that the college has been letting policy slip. “What are you talking about. Of course we check IDs. We check them all the time. Like, we check them in the middle of raids. Hey, where’s your ID? Hold it up. Well, how do I know that’s not fake? I’m just going to assume it’s fake. That’s how concerned I am about fake IDs. I just assume they’re all fake. I think you better leave now. This isn’t the interview you’ve been looking for. Move along.”

Nonetheless, anecdotes from college faculty, not to mention admissions of guilt from students using counterfeit IDs, have contributed to the feeling on campus that the administration has been lax about enforcing identification procedures. In addition to World's End Tavern, student hotspots such as the Opera House in Karazhan and Nalorakk Around the Clock in Zul'Aman have been seeing unusually high attendance for this time of year.

"I just want to be clear, for the record, that the Opera House does not accept fake IDs of any kind," declares stage manager Barnes. "We check IDs at the door, we seat people, and everyone has a good time exploring the tale of forbidden love or plumbing the depths of the human soul. That said: yes, business has been good."

For students, relaxed attitudes about the use of fake or altered identifications are rampant. Newly arrived student Toksick carries five different IDs at all times. "This one's for pugging Gruul on Wednesday nights. This one's for Saturday nights. This one was actually my brother's—I don't remember when I last used it. Then I have two more for Hyjal and TK." All IDs were easily purchased online for under 25g and delivered by mail. When asked about the penalties for using counterfeit IDs, Toksick shrugged off accountability. "I think if the Dean was serious about people not using these, he'd make it harder to get away with it. Besides, I'm helping myself, I'm helping the school, and I'm helping the economy and whatnot. Maybe [the rules] should be changed to reflect that."

Low-emissions transit system another step towards a greener RCC

REDRIDGE, Feb 16 -- An official launch ceremony on the docks of Lakeshire—the hub of the college’s new dirigible public transportation system—marks the latest phase in a campus-wide initiative to lower RCC’s carbon footprint by 20% by end of 2010. The event drew a sizable crowd comprising students, faculty, and residents, addressed by Interim Dean Stevens from aboard the parked aircraft.

“The days of the oversized, gas-guzzling, air-polluting vanity rides are hereby over,” declared Stevens, possibly alluding to the custom-detailed mechanical mounts favored by the still-missing Dean Caldwel. “With this intercampus airbus system, our streets will be free of congestion and our lungs will be full of clean, Redridge air.” Ground crews then loosed the moorings to allow the dirigible a brisk turn about the town before setting back to the dock. Actual opening of the transportation system will not occur until morning of 2/20/08 and even then will only operate on diminished capacity until March 2008. Critics of the system were quick to point out the inconvenience of a graduated opening schedule.



“It’s just not what I thought we were getting,” remarked Marcos, head of the Greater Redridge Mechanostriders Consortium. “How is waiting in line at the dock any better than sitting in traffic outside Stormwind? Besides, zeppelins are for goblins.”

Other community representatives were clearly in support of the new system. “Reduced emissions and reduced dependence on imported oil? What’s not to like!” stated Frink, speaking for priest-oriented environmental pressure group RENEW. “Green is a spec that everyone should choose. Also, it’s not a zeppelin.”

Zeppelins are a category of dirigibles with rigid skeletons, unlike blimps and balloons.

Such mixed reactions were similar to those met by previous installments of the carbon-reduction initiative, which started in late 2007 with a combustion tax on deep-fire spec mages. The controversial rule, currently under judicial review, would charge a carbon-emissions penalty for mages speccing beyond the 41st talent in the fire tree. “This nominal usage fee would only affect the fieriest one-percent of casters,” argued representative Kaileah, who had brought the bill to the floor. “It will not affect most Redridge citizens.” Another rule, which goes into effect in 2009, disallows motorboating in and around the breasts of Lake Everstill.



But even without new legislation, students observe, the campus is becoming a greener place to be. “It’s not about laws, man. It’s about, like, changing your whole life,” said one recently arrived student, Nevermoure. “Do you know the energy footprint of plate armor? It’s fucked up, broseph. Your clothes are kiling the planet. You know what I wear these days? Bamboo. Reclaimed lumber. This chest piece? Totally my mom’s cutting board.”

Redridge Days marks school’s two-year anniversary

REDRIDGE, Sept 2 -- Addressing students, faculty, staff, and alumni gathered to full capacity at Murloc Hall, Dean Caldwel commenced Redridge Days, the week-long series of seminars, concerts, and academic events celebrating the two-year anniversary of the founding of Redridge County College. Narrating an elaborate Powerpoint slide show that depicted the earliest achievements of RCC, the reclusive and eccentric dean brought rare solemnity to the occasion.

"I remember when RCC was just a Ford van parked by the lake, and the Biology department was Nadeen handing out morning-after pills," said Dean Caldwel wistfully. "I had just gotten my first piece of Valor gloves and was ready to take on the world."

The crowd erupted into cheers and applause as the screen switched to a yearbook page from RCC’s earlier years, a simpler time when the world was two continents and everyone paid to fly.



"Man, I used to hang out at Three Corners with Guard Parker," recalled Xzavious. "Guy was always trying to eat my lunch. Heard he married that girl from the inn, and they had, like, seven kids. I should look him up some time."

Following the dean’s introduction, entertainers Blue Dranei Group supplied its unique blend of multimedia theatrics in accompaniment to local folk singer Stevens’ narrative ballads. One song in particular brought the entire hall into a chorus of commingled voices and waving hands.

"Oh, Ony in the sky
what is loot?
Can the noob within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the whelplings from on my right?
I saw my reflection in the ash covered hills
till the tail-swipe brought me down"

Redridge Days will continue through the week, concluding with the Dean’s Ball on the evening of Sept. 9th. A full schedule of events is available at http://rccdays.rcc.edu.

REDRIDGE, May 28 -- The RCC chapter of the Fraternal Brotherhood of Delta Kappa Pwn received another official censure yesterday from the RCC Greek Society for violating campus recruitment guidelines. The censure is DKP's second this year, following its censure for failure to maintain a fraternity-wide 2.5 GPA. A third censure would mean an immediate annulment of the fraternity's charter, and possibly raid probations for its membership.



This recent censure came as a result of investigations conducted by the office of the dean into reports of the hazing of two recruits, Fujiko (70 NE Priest) and Pandachan (70 Human Paladin), who had confessed that DKP officers had on at least one occasion forced them to panty raid the Maiden of Virtue. Karazhan security cameras had captured the two students breaking into the Maiden's chamber, digging through the laundry, and struggling to carry off the immense undergarment.

"Impure thoughts lead to profane actions," proclaimed the Maiden upon hearing of the Greek Society's decision. "[DKP's] behavior will not be tolerated."

News of the failed panty raid had led many to speculate about the cause of other misdemeanors reported around campus in recent months, most notably the vandalizing of former Paladin CL Pizzadahut's prized pepperoni collection and the theft of Dean Caldwel's helmet polish.

"The Greek Society represents the great tradition of academics, binge drinking, and irresponsible hooking-up that makes RCC the choice for low-cost community college education in the lower Kingdom for those who can't get into other schools," stated Society president Odonus. "Sadly, DKP's actions have tainted that tradition."

When asked for a comment, DKP president Dalexi had only the following response: (-_\\\.